Winning Without Intimidation
Bob Burg, author of Winning Without Intimidation, writes about how to be nice without being a doormat, and he also gives a sales tip on how to advance the sale... persuasively.
WINNING WITHOUT INTIMIDATION
Volume 2/Issue No 31 October 2, 2001
In This Issue:
* Understanding the Game
* WINNING WITHOUT INTIMIDATION Sales Tip
* Nice Comments from You
* Requesting Back Issues
* Referring This Ezine
Welcome to WINNING WITHOUT INTIMIDATION, the Internet
magazine for people who believe in getting what they want in
all areas of their life (people, relationships, things,
sales, money, etc.) while helping others to feel good about
The WINNING WITHOUT INTIMIDATION Mission Statement: "To
raise the consciousness level of the world in the arena of
human interactions. To show people how to get what they want
while helping others to feel good about themselves."
"What people really need is a good listening-to."
- Mary Lou Casey (quoted in Steve Goodier's, "Your
Good morning. I hope all is well with you and life is
getting back on track. No, we certainly don't want to
(ever!) forget those lost in the 9-11 tragedy, nor their
loved ones, but the most important thing we can do right now
is to get back to our regular routines. You've read, and
heard it said repeatedly - as citizens, the best thing we
can do for ourselves, the economy and for our country (those
of us in the U.S.) is to do what we would normally do, to
the best of our abilities. That doesn't mean to buy what you
can't afford, but it does mean to resist making your buying
decisions based on what a network of monsters have done. If
we let them make our decisions for us, then they've
won...and I don't believe any of us are - or ever will be -
ready to accept that.
I also urge everyone that, while precautions and
inconveniences in certain areas regarding safety are
important to respect, we NOT be willing to give up our
liberty and freedoms for perceived security. That's a system
that never has, and never will, work.
Today's lead article will deal mainly with WINNING WITHOUT
INTIMIDATION philosophy and mind-set as opposed to how-to. I
hope you enjoy it.
Anyway, on to this week's feature article, which is...
* Understanding the Game
At a dinner several weeks ago, the host mentioned that I'm
an author whose most recent book is entitled, "Winning
Without Intimidation." Immediately, one of the other guests
at my table uttered the following *typical* comment: "You
can't be too nice and also be very successful." This set off
an instant discussion amongst the other guests of both
agreement and disagreement with that statement. Sadly
enough, it was mostly agreement. Another comment was that
WINNNING WITHOUT INTIMIDATION (a/k/a - "being nice while
getting what you want") might not always work in the "real
The above thoughts are very understandable when taking the
following into account: Most people have been pounded since
youth by television shows, movies, novels, media reports,
etc., where the good guy (or gal) loses and the bad gal (or
guy) wins. At least until the very end. They've also been
told by others throughout their lives that "nice people
finish last." And, we've all actually witnessed and known
nice people who get bullied, pushed around, taken advantage
of, etc. while seeing overbearing, intimidating,and
generally "bad" people prosper.
None the less, as we WWI-ers have discovered, the above
premise is very incorrect. Let's discuss why, as clarity is
so important when turning philosophy into action and action
First, if you know of a genuinely nice person who seems to
get taken advantage of and generally "lose" a lot, please
understand - It's not BECAUSE he or she is nice. It's
because he or she is not doing the right things needed to
win. This could be either because this person doesn't know
how, or because they are sabotaging their success. If you
believe the second reason may be true of them... or you, I'd
suggest purchasing the book, "Psycho-Cybernetics"
(http://www.amazon.com) by Dr. Maxwell Maltz. It's
What I explained, to those at my table, is that although you
can always find the exception, by and large, the most
successful people have a strong foundation of honesty, solid
ethics, a healthy family life, etc. They are the same people
at work as they are outside of work. There is no separation
of personal values and business values. And, they have
LEARNED how to communicate with people in such a way as to
make others feel good about themselves and want to do for
them. Of course, this is what we attempt to discuss in this
ezine every week.
Very importantly, I explained that WWI does NOT mean being
taken advantage of or lying down like a doormat for anyone.
In fact, it's very important, while honoring people and
thinking the best of them, to protect yourself from those
traits of human nature that may not serve you well, such as
the dishonesty of others. One of the other guests at the
table was David Lieberman, author of the bestseller, "Never
Be Lied to Again" (http://www.amazon.com). His book shows
how to use simple words and phrases that can help you to
know immediately whether the person with whom you are
transacting is being truthful or not. I read it long ago and
have found it to be very useful.
In a previous issue, I mentioned that one of the reasons a
WWI- er can be so confident in solving people-challenges is
because they are armed and equipped with the correct
information on how to deal with someone before the
"challenge" ever occurs. That's one reason that I read every
book on positive persuasion I possibly can. I've even read
books that teach negative, ruthless methods of persuasion
just so I can know what someone else might try and do to
So, the point of this issue is that:
#1 People who master the art of positive persuasion (part of
which means being a genuinely nice, caring person) win much,
much more than they lose. And,
#2 We need to continually teach others that this is the
correct philosophy; not the "nice people finish last"
philosophy still understood by most. Yes, we can all
positively affect our world one person at a time by sharing
the principles of success. It also happens to be the best
way to learn ourselves. Hmm, another win/win.
It's all a matter of Understanding the Game.
I'm glad to have you with us. Have an awesome WINNING
WITHOUT INTIMIDATION week! (Keep scrolling down for more
articles and other "stuff.") :-)
Bob Burg is author of "Winning Without Intimidation: How to
Master the Art of Positive Persuasion in Today's Real World"
(http://www.profnet.org/books/bburg.html)- Samark Pub, and
"Endless Referrals: Network Your Everyday Contacts Into
Sales" (http://www.burg.com/f-er.html)- McGraw-Hill. He also
speaks to corporations, associations, and organizations on
these two topics. To book Bob for your next major meeting or
convention, call 1-800-726-3667.
* WINNING WITHOUT INTIMIDATION Sales Tip -
Advancing The Sale
Assuming the product or service you sell is a relatively
high-priced item or takes a well thought-out decision by
your prospect (and possibly others) before buying, it's
seldom that you'll make the sale on your first appointment
(this does not hold true for all businesses, however).
If this is the case, you may want to take the advice of Neil
Rackham, author of the bestseller, "Spin Selling"
(http://www.bookstore.mcgraw-hill.com). He suggests that,
instead of judging the success of your presentation by whether
you make the sale or impress your prospect, that you judge its
success by whether you cause an "advance."
According to the author, "An advance is where an event takes
place, either in the call or after it, that moves the sale
forward toward a decision." He cites typical advances as:
* A prospect's agreement to attend an off-site demonstration
* A clearance that will get you in front of a higher level of
* An agreement to run a trial or test of your product
* Access to parts of the account that were previously
inaccessible to you
Again, depending upon your product or service, many more
examples could be added to Mr. Rackham's list. One in
particular would include simply setting up a return visit to
your prospect's office, for which you have a set date and
time. That way you can bring back your updated or final
ideas, learn of and answer any final questions and, either
complete the sale or advance it even more toward a final
Mr. Rackham adds that one characteristic of a successful
advance is that the commitments proposed by salespeople is
the highest "realistic" commitment that the prospect is able
to give. In other words, Successful salespeople *never* push
the customer beyond achievable limits. This, of course, is
in compete alignment with the philosophy of WINNING WITHOUT
"The test of humility is your attitude to subordinates."
-- From "Orhot Tzaddikim"
* Nice Comments from You
"Awesome WWI issues 2-27 and 2-28! I couldn't believe it
when I saw what the feature articles were about! I had to
write you and share about my brother's visit with me. Well,
he loves (or used to love) to argue with me. I decided this
visit, that surely WWI principles must work for arguing,
also. :-) So when he would start to argue about something,
I wouldn't argue back, or would make some kind of positive
Guess what? It worked! In fact, it worked so well that we
had a great time of sharing and doing things together. I
even tried to get him to stay another month. He said he
needed to get back home, but that he was looking forward to
coming back next summer to visit again. Is that too cool!"
"Bob, you are great. I love your perspective.
I met you in Atlanta the weekend of 4/27/01. You spoke at
LPGA - I gave you and the other convention speakers a
You are someone who has mastered being positive. You spoke
of back pain, and when I pressed you further -- "isn't that
just VERY difficult to deal with?" -- you shrugged it off --
"hey, I've got both my legs, lots to be grateful for."
I have also mastered being positive. I know I have. I WAS
the master of negative in my 20's How good it feels to be
on the other side. Also, I understand so much of how
negative thinking motivates & works -- because I was there
100%. Now I can slip back into negative, but it's only
Love your messages, but I mostly love them because I know
you are for real (having conversed with you back in April,
and I am a very perceptive reader of people)."
"You are an inspiration to me. Your concepts in Winning
Without Intimidation are based upon human emotion, and
truth. Nobody should feel discomfort planting them into
their life/lifestyle/business practice. I am improving and
enriching my life every day because of the concepts you
Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and truth. You
are a wonderful person, and my business grows daily because
of the concepts you teach."
* Requesting Back Issues
Back issues can be obtained by sending an email to:
IMPORTANT: In order for the autoresponder to "respond"
correctly, issues need to be requested individually, with
WINNING WITHOUT INTIMIDATION Issue (number here) in the
subject line (without the parenthesis). Please do not put
anything else in the subject line or change the formatting.
Issues 1-21 are now available.
* Referring This Ezine
Your referrals are always appreciated, and are the major way
we grow. Please pass this issue along to those you feel
might enjoy it and feel it to be beneficial. You may want to
include, at the top of your email, instructions for them to
subscribe which would simply be for them to send any email
to mailto:email@example.com. Thank you.
* Copyright Notice/Reprint Policy
In order to get the WINNING WITHOUT INTIMIDATION message
into the world's consciousness as quickly as possible, feel
free to share the complete contents of this publication with
as many people as you'd like (However, no changes may be
made to its content without written permission). Proper
credit of "Bob Burg is author of "Winning Without
Intimidation: How to Master the Art of Positive Persuasion"
and reference to this ezine, is, of course, appreciated.
We do not spam anyone nor can this material be used in any
spam. In order to protect your privacy, we do not sell,
share or trade our subscriber list with anyone for any
Do you know someone who'd like to fine-tune his or her
WINNING WITHOUT INTIMIDATION or Networking skills? They can
subscribe by sending any email to
You should be able to click on this "mailto" link and have
an email pop up. Hit SEND. If that does not happen, cut and
paste firstname.lastname@example.org into an email and hit SEND.
You can unsubscribe by sending any email to
*** NOTE: Get your copy of Bob Burg's Winning Without Intimidation today!
[ First posted on 07/23/2002 by Manuel Viloria ]